I honestly still do not know how I feel about this. Lunch time makes me feel miserable but I can't let myself focus on that as today has been somewhat of a breakthrough. Trapeze on Tuesday was EXHAUSTING and painful as the my newest fisti-bump is in a very uncompromising place for balancing on a bar, but I am glad that I went. Normality, or my slightly skewed semblance of it (as I am aware it is not in everyone's fortay to go swinging from ropes as a pastime) is so important to hang onto at times like this, where everything else feels so way out of my control. But I am trying to balance this out so that I am not going into hyper denial and ignoring the very blatant fact something ain't right!
Yesterday I did feel better for the exercise, as much as I am loath to say it! And today, I feel even better. My stomach has been making the noises I would normally associate with a complex GCSE chemistry experiment and that has been a little embarrassing at times and my tiredness shows no signs of abating but my general pain and discomfort from the fistula seems to be abating.
Fingers crossed that this is doing the trick. I try to be positive, even with all the failed treatments I have had at treatment in that past, so maybe this is actually getting me somewhere. Maybe.
Which is best; not eating properly ever again and forever being sustained by the soul-less nutrition that is Fortisip or major surgery. Is that even an option? Some knowledge would be nice...
No real reason for this, just loved the van!
No comments:
Post a Comment